It should come as no surprise that a series of seemingly unrelated events have transpired in the past few hours that have led me to an important conclusion. Effective immediately, as in right now, Daily Journals are no longer required for the class.
I am a kind, open, vulnerable person who - in case you haven't noticed - is a human being with feelings. I think it is unhealthy and unwise of me to continue to ask for journals from you for the following reasons:
1. A significant majority of you have not practiced the writing on a daily basis.
2. A plethora of journals that I read are written after the fact and therefore not authentic work.
3. I have come to find out too much information about you and your peers, most of which alters the way I see you and therefore interact with you.
4. Because some of my interactions with you have to be fabricated in some way (due to my strong mind palace), it is lessening my ability to be my authentic self which is manifesting in worry, concern, and confusion on who you actually are and leading to severe distrust.
5. The journals, for some, have become less a place for writing and more a place for ranting. While I am all for emotional discourse, too many of you are cutting other people down and discussing things that are really none of your business. *And due to the fact that so many of you comment on the "kiss ass" nature of those who post comments on the blog, I will also no longer be posting comments either. If you would like to comment, I will read the comments myself and email you personally.
6. Because I am an observer, am intelligent, and am highly in touch with what I deem "energy", I am swirling in "stuff" that I no longer want to be in.
7. I am tired of reading things about my class and my teaching and my style that are negative or rude or completely off base especially considering NONE of you have EVER been in my class before and to the best of my knowledge have not taken AP Language.
8. I am defeated and now believe that what I am trying to do is better suited in a different environment.
I am going to continue to write for my own benefit as I do consider it a valuable practice. However, I will no longer post them online. If you choose to continue as well, I wish you all the best. Writing daily will open up many doors that are currently closed. The writing will also help with the personal statements some of you will be writing for college.
I have also decided to take my own advice that "no is a complete sentence". Over summer, I will email you personally to offer you a letter of recommendation. Should you need one or want one from me, I would be more than happy to write on your behalf. By letting you know that I am interested, I can avoid any awkwardness. Please don't ask me for a letter.
I will see you tomorrow, periods 6 & 7, and the rest of you on Monday. Good luck with the last of it.
And thank you to those whose daily writing has been a pleasure to read.
Oh, and as a word of advice to you, let us turn to the incomparable Kurt Vonnegut who said, "Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies - God damn it, you've got to be kind." God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater
I'm sorry for this Ms Beltran. Don't lose hope. The days when you will see unity and true kindness in those shiny pennies are coming and that good will overcome the pain. I still can't believe it's been a year since the end of junior year first semester. I still can't believe we disappointed you last year when a majority of us didn't read. But things got better. It honestly sucks that teachers who do not respect their students at all get treated better than the teachers like you and Mr P who are fighting for our success. I'll miss reading your daily journals but it's okay because I'll buy your book one day and catch up on all that I missed!
ReplyDeleteMs. Beltran!
ReplyDeleteMs. Beltran, I just wanted to tell you that I will miss reading your journal entries because they have inspired me to write for myself more. Also, I wish the current junior could see the image, that you saw all along, created when you connect the dots of everything we learned going backwards senior year.
Ms Beltran I'm so so sorry to hear how much your students this year are taking advantage of your kindness. You are one of the greatest teachers I've had who has taught me more than the academic English stuff. You've taught me the wonders that come from opening your heart (and that it could also be painful) to the world and to value all the little things in life. You taught me to not be so harsh on myself when I couldn't bring myself to forgive my dad, to accept the things that I cannot change and change the things that I can. I may not be your student this year but I hope that having been able to touch my heart and the hearts of previous students will help serve as a reminder that some of us do hear you and do get "it."
ReplyDeleteI will continue to write every day so I hope you can still enjoy reading at least one journal entry a day.
I love you ❤️
This is truly heartbreaking.
ReplyDeleteI'm really going to miss your journal entries, they're inspiring. I know you won't be checking, but I promise to continue to write my journals. I'm really sorry that this happened.
It is the safest when people don't realize a good thing, no, a great thing, when it is standing right in front of them, a smile away. I am sorry this has happened.
ReplyDeleteI love you❤