Post 2 on Monday

I cannot help myself.  An absolute DARLING from period 7 emailed this link to me and IT IS WORTH YOUR TIME.

This lovely wrote, "Hi Ms. Beltran! I hope you're having a nice evening. Talking about Maria Popova today reminded me of a video I watched a couple days earlier from The Atlantic, when I was doing some hardcore procrastination (oops). But this video is worth checking out, if you haven't seen it already. It's Popova's 7 tips for living a fulfilling life and she echoes many of the people we have seen throughout the year in Ted Talks. I was going to use this for my SAS, but since we aren't doing it I figured I'd show you anyway."

Being a teacher for many in the field is a default career option.  It's what they do when the other stuff didn't quite pan out.  Being a teacher is literally the only job I have ever had (aside from getting paid to read books for one of my History professors at Rice and how does that even count as work?).  Emails like the one above are why I do what I do and why I am thankful.  So very, very thankful.

It shatters me that in a few short months, this sandcastle will be destroyed.  My hope is that it lasts forever in your hearts.

xoxo

Monday - Wow **UPDATED

**Our Articulation 1-1 Meetings will be on Friday so no SAS...just have independent reading like East of Eden with you or you could work on your prom dress notes.  xoxo

Could you tell what I was thinking today? Hmm...anyhoo, I've firmly decided to make the official reading deadline for East of Eden the Monday after Spring Break. That's April 4th. No excuses since you've had since September.

The article for tomorrow is linked on Saturday's blog post. Seriously beautiful. Be ready to play tomorrow.

Off to pick up Thing 1 & 2.

Xoxo

P.S. Leave a comment. None will be published...my eyes only.

Anam Cara & Soccer

The family is all feeling healthy today - thank goodness.  I thought I was down for the count last night about 8 but all hail the power of warm lemon water.  I'm telling ya...

We're headed to the soccer game in a few but before we dash off, I thought I would do y'all a favor and post the text we'll be using this upcoming week.  It's from Maria Popova's beloved and well-curated site Brain Pickings.  The text is called Anam Cara and the Essence of True Friendship.

I know how busy we ALL are so have the article read by Tuesday's class.  Do all the work I'm going to do with it...and if you know people who don't check the blog...your call as to whether or not you are going to give them a heads up.

See you Monday and go PL!!

xoxo

Friday & Life

Sorry I had to bail. Thing 2 got sick at preschool so this mama did what a mama has to do. Could someone from period 2-4 send me SAS notes? And someone from periods 6&7, thoughts on the performance? Bummed I'm missing out but...

I'll share my SAS with you Monday.

Happiness & Health to you all,
Xoxo

Today

Thank you.  Just THANK YOU.  I loved today and I think some of you did too.  I'll return your writing tomorrow.  SAS tomorrow and for periods 6 & 7, meet me in the PAC.

xoxo

p.s. - The 6 entries I wrote today will be you know where...or maybe you don't know where.  C'est la vie.

Pen and Paper

That dog'll hunt.

That's all she wrote.

See you tomorrow. Xoxo

TED Talk Tuesday

Here's the link for Dave Isay's TED Talk today.  I hope you rewatch it and take some good notes. 

Also reread The Opposite of Loneliness and answer the following question:

***What connections can you make between the 2 pieces of rhetoric you were exposed to today? 

Email me your answer, please.

"We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike." ~Maya Angelou

What I'm Wondering - P.S. Tell Tyler to Check the Blog - FEAR!

I don't know why I am writing again when my body is screaming at me to Shut.  It.  Down.  I've had a full day being me just like I'm sure you've had a full day being you.  I'm sitting here with my wet hair wrapped in a towel wondering why it is that some of you don't make an effort to email me.  It baffles me - like are you so conditioned to view me as other that an email would be too much?  And then I get to thinking how much of an effort I have made with some of you and you literally walk by me with not even a "hello".  I noticed that today - how many of you don't say hi or bye.  I'm not hurt by that - more curious.  And then I start to wonder about how you must trip out on the hundreds of relationships I have that don't include you.  And what about the classmates who email me often and show their true colors all while safely cocooned behind a luminous screen?  Mind boggling.

Marina Keegan's been on my mind and heavy on my heart, too.  Her words are beautiful and they live on beyond her.  How tragic it must have been for her mother to sift through debris - mangled metal and broken bits - to unearth her baby's laptop.  Do you guys know the depth of a mother's love?  I mean, really?  How your child is your heart walking outside of your body?  How your child was once a part of you - little feet kicking and hearts fluttering all within you as you walked, talked, slept?  I cannot imagine the strength and courage it took for her mother Tracy to do what she did.

I suppose I'm just feeling the full moon (I am unusually attuned to her - another bit of the magic of my life).  I suppose I'm just replaying different scenes from my day.  I suppose I'm just wondering why I'm over here and you're over there.

Separated yet connected - 5 months into this relationship that's going to end in June.  Will I break up with you in person?  Will we promise to still be friends?  We all know how that goes, don't we?

Love and light, my little amoebas.
xoxo

The Opposite of Loneliness Introduction

Thank you for your presence today.  This week is going to be worth your time and energy...I promise. In an effort to help you out (and to respect your time as I am sure you respect mine) here is the link to the Introduction of The Opposite of Loneliness that you will need to have read before class on Wednesday.

Marina Keegan serves as an example for us all.  Read Song for the Special tonight and annotate it.  Research her, learn about her.

See you in class tomorrow for TED Talk Tuesday and more writing from this lovely young woman.

xoxo

Anticipation

I cannot wait to teach tomorrow.

It's true.

Today is glorious and full of love and light and I know I should be here now but man...tomorrow.

xoxoxoxoxo

SAS

Thank you for a great SAS day.  I often wonder why some weeks the vibe is electric and other times, not so much.  Such is life, I suppose.

I'd also like to plug RYLA.  It's a great opportunity and I really hope you capitalize on it.  Here's the link to their website if you're interested.  Erica and Chloe said applications can be given to me, them or Mrs. Hedges in room 202 by the end of next week.

Have a safe and beautiful weekend.

xoxo

Garrison Keillor

Thanks for listening and working with the Keillor piece today.  Here's a link to the whole show that the San Diego song was taken from.  Enjoy if you'd like.

Tomorrow, I will be expecting your Prom Dress notes so please reach your potential.  I'll give them back to you on Monday.  Also, SAS tomorrow (yay!) and it should be centered/focused on this week's theme of love or you could just show me videos of Bruno Mars...

I feel compelled to tell you thank you - specifically for those of you who are bringing me such joy and light just by being you.  GOSH, I AM IN LOVE AGAIN.  Yes!!!!

So...if I had your number?  Here's my text.  "Heyyy!" (Did I do that right?  So old...)

See y'all tomorrow.

xoxo

Telling is Listening

For the few who read daily, here's the link to the Brainpickings article we used in class.  I really do wonder who reads these words and if I am writing to a few or to many.  Who's out there???  Hmm...

At any rate, the article is worth your time as is the whole site.  In addition to the article, make sure you are prepared to discuss not only Keillor's text but also who the man is.  And who he was writing to...and have a rhetorical triangle as well.  

So much to do...

And in case you missed it, the theme this week has been "Love" and "The Human Condition".  Just in case you are wanting to impress with your SAS on Friday.

Also, the 32 Universal Themes all of which tie in to East of Eden.  I'd say the book should be read by the end of Spring Break (Sunday, April 3rd, I believe).  But a HUGE shout out to those of you who have already completed it.  You know who you are...Timshel!!!!

xoxo

Boyd Varty...Sigh **UPDATED***

You can thank me later...A REAL MAN. (Somebody get a list going of all my boyfriends, please!)

"The door can only be opened if you have a strong sense of your own abilities and that’s what being in nature has given me. I know that I can go out and track a lion and be in a close-quarter situation with a very dangerous animal, and I have what it takes to deal with that. But I also know that if I approach that situation with arrogance that I’m going to get myself hurt. So it pushes you into different places. Men have been given two models: the sensitive guy or the macho man. And there’s a place in the middle that I believe is built on humility and resilience, and out of that humility and resilience comes an ability to be fully present and available. And I think that women are leading the world into a new consciousness and I think that men need to find a place where they can support that, and they can be strong but very present and available." ~Boyd Varty

Hope you enjoyed Boyd Varty's TED Talk and his message of Ubuntu.  Rewatch it and get your prom dress notes together.  I'll be asking to see your prom dress notes on Friday.  FYI.

And thanks to those of you who emailed me.  I don't have the stamina to email the slew of messages I received between 11pm and just now so find someone in the "know" and they can fill you in.

I'll see y'all tomorrow.  Make sure you have read and annotated the Keillor piece.  (What Keillor piece?? Really?)

xoxo

"In a more collective society we realize from the inside that our own well-being is deeply tied into the well-being of others." ~Boyd Varty

Daily Journal #148 - Cali Girl

I have a secret, y'all...email me if you want to know what it is.

xoxo

Heads Up

Any of you interested in getting a heads up on reading, annotating and taking notes on this week's text, feel free to work on Garrison Keillor's piece How to Write a Letter.

Dance party time...xoxo

Daily Journal #147 - Happy Valentine's Day

It took me about a decade of really hard work to become the woman I am today.  Most of you see me as I am now, but none of you know who I used to be and how I used to traverse the world.

As a child of divorce, it should come as no surprise that I did not trust men.  It's cliche but completely true.  Men - based on my experience with them - hurt you, left you, and harmed you.  Every birthday I celebrated felt like a reminder of my broken home (my parent's divorce was finalized on my 11th birthday) and every superficial birthday card that I received from my father up until his death a year and a half ago, felt like a slap in the face.

Every relationship I had previous to the one with my husband was more like a game.  I even (sadly) referred to the poor guys who attempted to woo me as "toys".  I know.  I know.  NOT GOOD.

Five weeks after graduating from college, I met my husband and despite my best efforts to not fall head over feet, I fell head over feet.  But even in the beginning of that relationship, I was not wholeheartedly invested.  I was cautious, waiting for the other shoe to drop, poised to run at the first sign of discord.

Lucky for me, the universe sent me a human being who was (and is) far more evolved than me.  I began to learn about love from my greatest teacher, but it wasn't until I was on an airplane flying to Chicago that I got cracked open.

I always travel with a book and with my Moleskin so after the plane reached its cruising altitude, I settled into my seat and opened up a library book I had heard about - The Seven Laws of Spiritual Success by Deepak Chopra.

When I got to the the 7th law - dharma - I lost it.  On the plane, over the Midwest, next to my new husband, I lost it.  Never had I read anything so absolutely true.  My life was humming with energy and goodness and I felt like a fish in water.  Everything I was experiencing was natural and pure including my budding belief in love.  

That book and that moment in time are the reasons you have the version of me that you do.

That book was the beginning of my journey through healing, through true partnership, through motherhood, through depression, through becoming the best version of myself.  

So on this Valentine's Day, I wish you all love and kindness and compassion.  I wish you all safety and happiness.  I wish you all the ability to see yourself for the amazing people you are.  

xoxo

P.S. - A little treat...even though I'm pretty sure he's singing to me.  Ha!

Daily Journal #146 - Parenthood

I never dreamed of being married or becoming a mom.  I vividly recall my imaginative play being centered around being a deejay, a rancher, and an accountant (why did I find that alluring, I'll never know...).  At any rate, finding a man and motherhood were not even on the radar.  Then, of course, life happens and you fall in love and then you get all hormonal.

Motherhood is the opposite of glamorous - in fact, if you do it well, your kids just appear as if they were born good people with morals, ethics, and values.  Certainly you had nothing to do with it.  (wink wink)  Being a mom for me is the toughest challenge because I am inherently an introvert and I am a thinker and I feel way too much to have my heart beating outside of my chest.  I'm a pessimist naturally and I pretty much believe we are all savages who daily resist the urge to lose our minds.  I also believe that some people's children are not cute and not cool but how do I teach my kids to love if I say that stuff out loud?

Today motherhood made me literally laugh out loud.  Today motherhood humbled me and put me in my place.  Let's set the scene...

In an hour I am piling my kids into the car and making a trek up north to a four year old's birthday party.  It's what you do on a sunny Saturday in San Diego.  And since I am as much of a procrastinator as some of my students, I didn't stop by the store to buy a present two weeks ago when we RSVPed to the event.  So...off we go this morning to Target (a mother's Mecca) to buy something dear Adeline would like.  (Mind you, I don't know which one Adeline is but that's beside the point.)  Since my girlies love croissants and I love coffee (we're a match made in heaven), we stop to acquire some yummies before venturing to the store where I will no doubt spend $100 on things I don't even know I need until I see them (sucker, I know).

We've secured the buttery bread and the hot latte and we're in the car when I ask some question of the kids.  August attempts to answer but she's got food in her mouth and I get irritated.  I mean, how many times do I have to remind her?

"August Shaina Rose!  Do not speak with your mouth open!"    

Silence.

My brain catches up to my mouth at about the same time Zadie's brain processes what I just said.  

"Mommy!  Did you hear what you just said?  You told her she can't talk with her mouth open.  How else is she supposed to talk?".

Her giggles erupt from deep within.

The only choice I have in that moment is to lose it...not in anger but in absolute joy.  I am such a dork.  I can't even yell at my kid correctly.

The three of us go from separateness to togetherness in an instant.  I glanced in the rearview mirror to see my two daughters literally shaking their heads at their nutty mama and I realize we just created a memory that they will discuss years from now when I am even more embarrassing.  We just created a moment for them to share as sisters, a shared history they'll discuss over their own coffee and croissants someday when I am no longer driving them around - when I am no longer the epicenter of their worlds.

Daily Journal #145 - No Filter Needed

My beloved Maya Angleou wrote a piece in her book Wouldn't Take Nothing for My Journey Now called "A Day Away" in which she recommends "consciously separating" from your life for just a bit.  I don't necessarily have the luxury of stepping away for long from my duties as a wife and mother, but this morning the universe aligned.

After a great night's sleep (I highly recommend choosing rest - it is so good for your body and your spirit), I dropped off Thing 2 at preschool.  After the most delicious kiss from my baby, I drove to a hipster coffee shop in North Park to meet one of my former students. AB first sat in my third period class in 2012 and despite blending into the crowd at first, she quickly became one of my favorite students.  By the academic year's end, she was a friend and by the time she graduated, I considered her more like a part of my family.  To say she is special to me is an understatement.

The adorable barista at Holsem made my latte, and I sat down to wait for my girl.  Since I always travel with a book and my Moleskin, I took out both and got comfy. AB showed up soon after and we spent a good two hours catching up, laughing, crying, and just being soul to soul.  Before we parted ways, I told her how lucky I felt that our paths crossed so many years ago.  We hugged, we said "I love you", and off I went.

And I just existed without a plan or an agenda.  I ended up taking a picture of the beautiful sky.  I ended up buying a new chapter book for Thing 1.  I ended up getting my groove on to a new playlist.  I ended up just being...all alone yet utterly connected to this beautiful, gorgeous moment in time.

Some visuals below...

1. 

2. 

3.

1.  My natural face after getting a good night's sleep.  

2.  The great book one of my beloveds gifted me...How to Be Parisian Wherever You Are.

3.  The gorgeous San Diego sky.  Wow.

“Every person needs to take one day away.  A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future.  Jobs, family, employers, and friends can exist one day without any one of us, and if our egos permit us to confess, they could exist eternally in our absence.  Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for.  Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us.” ~Maya Angelou

Daily Journal #144 - Gratitude

I am very grateful today for many things.  I am grateful that I rose to greet another day because there was a time six and a half years ago when even that was not a given.  I am grateful that a beloved gifted me homegrown avocados that were utter perfection on top of some scrambled eggs.  (I am forever a fan of breakfast for dinner.)  I am grateful for how my body works.  My functional body allowed me to run down the street behind my child as she rode her bike this afternoon.  My functional body allowed me to jump rope in the driveway and to smell Joe's cigar from across the street.  My functional body allowed me to "dance" to Bruno Mars and nothing makes me happier than a dance party.

I am grateful for the Valentine's gifts I received today - one from a student whose words inspire me to be the best version of myself, and one from a student who has revealed himself through each of his presentations in class.  They both have no idea how positively their kindness enveloped me.

I am grateful that I am considered a "trusted adult" at PLHS.  Apparently there's a list in my mailbox that proves that I - along with another teacher - are two of the most trusted adults on campus.  And while that is a heavy burden to bear, it also makes me feel as light as the breeze currently wafting across my legs.  

I am grateful that I have one living parent who texts me every morning to wish me a good day, and that I have an older sister who still takes care of me like she did when we were younger.  I am grateful for meaningful hugs from other sentient beings and sustained eye contact that reminds me we are more alike than different despite our meatsuits.  I am grateful that I am loved, adored, and seen by a plethora of people.

I am grateful that I am open, vulnerable, and strong.  I am grateful for this very moment sitting at the kitchen table across from Aug Pie. I am grateful.

So a huge thank you to the magic that surrounds me and protects me and knows just what I need and when I need it.  I started paying attention a long time ago, and I am blinded by the beauty that I see.

With gratitude.  

P.S. - a new non-school blog is in the making...kind of exciting!

Four Glorious Days!!!

Oh, yes, a little break.  I'll miss you but seriously, don't we need a little time in our pj's at home? Thanks for dancing today and bringing some light and joy.  I so appreciate that.

And thank you for the love - you know who you are!!!!  I am overwhelmed.

I'll be back at some point on Sunday (Valentine's Day) to post the text we'll be using on Wednesday and Thursday.  And, of course, I will be back later today and throughout the weekend with my Daily Journals.

Be safe and make good choices.
xoxo

Daily Journal #143 - Dear Loves

Dear Loves,

With Valentine's Day quickly approaching, I feel compelled to say that the idea of love is beautiful but it gets sullied with the commercial/material nature of business, consumption, and marketing. Such is the Hallmark tendency of our society.  Your love and its strength is measured by the size of the teddy bear, the number of balloons, the quality of chocolates, the number of roses.

Most who know me know that I am an exception to the the female norms Brene Brown put forth in her 2012 TED Talk.  I am not "nice, modest, [or] thin".  Nor do I devote "all available resources to [my] appearance".  The last time I wore make-up was when I was the maid of honor at my best friend's wedding in 2004.  I looked good, but I got all dolled up for my girl and not for me.  I don't feel the need to wear make-up or get my nails done or devote much time to my exterior.  What's funny though is that I don't think I am hard on the eyes even though I care very little about what I physically look like when it comes to decorations.  (There's that lack of modesty...and for the record, I do obviously care about my health but not in a numbers on the scale, thigh gap, pants size kind of way.)

I am also not the "norm" when it comes to February 14th.  My guy knows that I don't want or need anything materialistic on that day or any day.  I am surrounded by his love every second of my life (gross...even writing that made me puke in my own mouth, but it's true).  Ours is not a perfect union but it works and after almost 18 years together, we are a team with a language all our own.

When he walks into the room (and after my heart stops fluttering) we have a full on conversation with our eyes.  He knows me better than I know myself sometimes (that bugs the heck out of me).  He knows when I'm lying about my feelings (but probably not about the twenty in my wallet), and he says that I am only getting better with age.

When we got married so many years ago, I wore black.  Our witness was a lady named Maria - a secretary in one of the offices at City Hall.  Another woman officiated the ceremony and we took a Polaroid of the whole affair when it was done (it cost $5).  We then walked across the street to the Harbor and called our families to say, "Happy Wednesday.  Guess what we just did...We got married!"

And then the real work of love began.  Not the fairy tale version of it either.  The real life version that is the chapter after "...and they lived happily ever after"; the real life version that includes taxes, mortgages, doing laundry, sharing a bathroom, having children, building a life together.

So as I pause to wish you all love, know where I am coming from.  It's not about the gifts or the teddy bears or the roses or the picnics on Mexican blankets (not that there's anything wrong with that).  Love is about acceptance and liberation every day that ends in "y".

Signed,
A Love Warrior

(my favorite t-shirt shop - SuperLove Tees...check them out.)

Sweet Little Lies

Good stuff today. Make sure you write an anecdote pertaining to a type of lie you've told. There are 10 choices according to Ericsson. See y'all tomorrow. Xoxo

Confession Time

I saw three former students today and two of them reminded me of blog comments that exist no longer. I publish some of the senior/outside reader comments but the rest just stare at me when I log on. Tonight the shiny penny I wrote to left a comment...a heart. And I crumbled. Yesssssss.  Just yes.

There are so many of you who send me such love and whose literal presence in my life makes my work seem more like a gift. Thank you for that. Thank you to my glorious TA's who make me radiate with joy. Thank you to those of you who are still writing!!!!! And there are many. Thank you to the ones of you who remember that I am a human being and love being seen, too. Thank you to my beloved in period 6 whose words are like dessert and to my boy in period 4 who calls me teech. Thank you.

I felt like I saw my ghost ship in the PAC period 7 with the other AP class. For better and for worse, I am committed to you.

Xoxo

Daily Journal #142 - Pride

Dear Shiny Penny,

I am so very proud of you.  I'm not sure if that means much coming from me, but I feel compelled to tell you anyway.  I think what you discovered and realized is just the beginning of all that is possible for you.  I really do.

Oftentimes when I am asked by peers what I do, and I say that I'm a teacher, I receive mixed reactions.  I guess people assume that I defaulted to my current career when something else didn't work out.  I guess people assume that I'm a pauper pinching pennies to make ends meet.  I guess people assume that I am like the worst teacher they ever had - bitter, grumpy, unkind.

I remember my first faculty meeting.  There I sat at the tender age of 22 among colleagues twice my age.  I didn't have a sweater on, I didn't have a tote bag, and I most certainly didn't dislike kids.  I thought for sure I was better than these people and my arrogance likely perfumed the entire room as my ego got in the way of the opportunity I had to teach inner city kids.

Oh, my, how times have changed.  I feel so grateful to do what I love, and I live for moments like today.  Yes, yes, there are complete milk toast students in my midst and uncool kids to the n-th degree in some of my classes, but then there are the shiny pennies like you who just blow my mind.

I saw something in you - probably the first week of school - or maybe after your first email to me.  At any rate, I saw something that caught my eye and it wasn't what you look like or how you dress or carry yourself.  I saw potential.  I saw someone who just needed a shot at becoming.

As I listened to you today and heard your words, I saw you walking on the path out of the swampland.  I saw you dismantling the house you built in the muck.  With each revelation, a brick was demolished and with each pause of recognition, a room was upended.

Love liberates, Shiny Penny.  It doesn't bind.  Believe that I am not wrong when I say that you are more than you give yourself credit for.

I am not your mama but if I were, I would give you the biggest hug and hold you for as long as I could in a safe embrace of acceptance and understanding.

You MADE MY DAY today, and for that, I thank you.

xoxo

Articulation

Today was interesting...we'll chat more tomorrow. Some of the seniors will be adding their two cents to the information. Who knows better than the kids in the class...

Also make sure to read and annotate The Ways We Lie (on Sunday's blog post).

Xoxo

P.S. Daily Journal later...I need to find an iced tea and my eldest child.

Daily Journal #141 - Attraction

When I was little I used to love to play with magnets.  I was fascinated with the attraction between two opposing forces and how one movement could inspire another.  Attraction is simply that, isn't it - when we are moved by the force of another?  Oftentimes that force is biological in nature, all hormonal and chemical, but sometimes that attraction comes as inspiration, a burning desire to do better.

I think it's pretty well known by anybody who really knows me that I am highly conscious of what I consume - whether it be food or music or media. I've decreased my red meat intake and I have been off of sugar for over a year.  My last soda (or Coke as we Texans call it) was in 2004.  

I think it's also pretty well known by anybody who really knows me that I fall in love deeply every single day.  I fall in love with smells and sounds, with people's eyes, their voices, with observations, with drinks, with food, with the feel of a certain material against my skin.  As Rumi says, "Fall in love with as many things as possible."

Yes, please.

And I fell hard today, and I loved it.

You see, I admire strength in people.  I admire morals and truth.  I admire humility and grace.  I admire work ethic and kindness.  I admire art, and I admire fatherhood.  I admire humor and family.  I admire beauty. I admire people who "preach a better sermon with [their] life than with [their] lips" and I realized today that I admire a football player from Alabama.

Who knew?

After devouring all the visuals I could find and reading all I could read and watching all I could watch, I feel safe in saying that I'm a fan of #94.  I don't know him in real life, but if what other people say about him is true, he is the real deal.

And I like real deals.  I like authenticity and (if I'm being honest), I like human beings who are beautiful in mind, body and spirit.

Kudos to the man who is now a Super Bowl champion.  All good things to those who work hard, never quit and recognize the magic that surrounds them.

TED Talk Monday (weird)

Rewatch Brene Brown's doozy of a TED Talk and dress up your notes.  Sooooo worth your time!

I'll see you in the PAC tomorrow and make sure you check Sunday's blog post for your reading for class on Wednesday.

"You've gotta dance with the one who brung ya." ~Brene Brown

Daily Journal #140 - Community

I usually type while sitting at the kitchen table and from my vantage point, I can see straight out of the front door.  Right now, I can see neighbor Chris across the street setting up his canopy and grill for his Super Bowl party this afternoon and if I stretch to my left and peer out of the window, I can see our other neighbor Chris setting up the projector in his garage and the coolers in his driveway.  That Super Bowl party is getting organized too.

The funniest thing about our neighbors is that the ones in closest proximity to us are all named Chris.  Chris and Gina across the street, Chris and Gina to the right and Chris and Sara to the left.  In fact, the neighbors who used to live in the other house across the street are named D'Ann and Chris.  But that little God wink is but one example of how magical this street is.

When we first moved here, I felt like we walked onto the set of Leave it to Beaver.  Or maybe the set of Cheers where everybody knows your name.  The houses are precious and the neighborhood is peaceful, yes, but it's the people that make this block unreal.  Joe, the first homeowner on the street (he was here in 1956 when the first houses went up and when the road got paved.) throws an annual block party for the kids complete with a dunk tank, bouncy houses, and honest to goodness barbeque.  Ryan and Ian will randomly text and say, "Hey, come by for dinner."  We walk Harvey, the neighbor's dog, as if he is our own and I am never surprised when I walk into the kitchen and see him sniffing around.  In fact, I am never surprised when one of the neighbors is in the living room sharing a laugh or when I see someone from across the street coming over with a pot roast because they know I have a full time job and two young kids.

I mean, our first Christmas here, I was baking some cookies for Santa and I literally needed a teaspoon of baking soda.  I took the scoop, walked next door, and Chris hooked me up.  My mom was flabbergasted.  And it's just a rule that when you're headed to the store, you ask if anybody else needs anything.

To me, this community, this sangha, of people from all walks of life who co-exist peacefully in a busy city is magical.  That we ride bikes together, walk each other's dogs, share meals and laughter is what I think is missing in today's society.  We are meant to be with others.  We are meant to be social creatures.  We are meant to be a part of each other's lives.

When August first learned how to ride her bike without training wheels, she jetted down the sidewalk to the cheers of not only her family but of Joe, of all the Chrises, of Larry, of Ryan and Ian, of Mr. Williams and of Coach George.  The smile on her face was ear-to-ear and I like to think that's because it takes a village.

I am forever grateful we found one on a sweet street in sunny San Diego.

The Early Bird Gets the Worm

Happy Super Bowl Sunday, y'all.

I've been mapping out the week for you and I wanted to give you a heads up as to what will be expected of you.  (You can thank me in person tomorrow.)

Since the counselors will be discussing Articulation with you on Tuesday in the PAC (meet me there by the way), I will be showing our TED Talk tomorrow.  It's a gem so make sure you have your sweatpants with you...

Tuesday we're in the PAC.  Don't panic or panic - your choice.

Wednesday and Thursday we will be working with a piece by Stephanie Ericsson entitled "The Ways We Lie".  You should (not could, note the diction) print this text out, read ahead of time and annotate the heck out of it so you will be prepared for class.  You are receiving a big heads up so use it please.

I'll be back later with my Daily Journal.

xoxo

Daily Journal #139 - My Hands

I was stuck in traffic on the way to pick up Thing 1 and I noticed my hands on the steering wheel. My fingers are long and lean, my wrists small and my bones angular beneath my brown skin.  I realized that I have my grandmother's hands.

My grandmother died in 1998, one month before I graduated from Rice University.  She was 88 years old.  She was the mother of four children, her only daughter being my mother.  She never learned to drive a car and she never flew on an airplane.  She avoided escalators like the plague, and she struggled to sign her name - Soledad - on official documents.  She worked in a tortilla factory until she passed out from the heat and her health dictated she find a different job.  She was a devout Catholic who memorized her miselet church bulletins because she didn't know how to read.

She used to drink and smoke cigarettes before she found her religion.  She wore trucker hats, killed chickens with her bare heads, and had a live-in boyfriend from the age of 72 on.  She played her music loudly and loved to gossip with her friends over coffee and pan dulce.

She loved to cuss, paint her nails red and get her hair dyed.  Her dressy outfits always matched her accessories and if you interrupted her telenovelas, well...

I was my grandmother's youngest grandchild and as such held a coveted position in her heart.  She loved me beyond measure and called me her reina.  She literally cackled with joy when our car turned into her driveway and even as I type this I can feel her warm embrace.  She died 18 years ago and I miss her all the time.

But just yesterday I was reminded that I come from a long line of strong women.  And I happen to have my grandmother with me right now.

She had fingers that were long and lean, wrists that were small, and her bones were angular beneath her weathered brown skin.

Daily Journal #138

I am an observer and as such, I notice a lot of different things throughout my day.  Sometimes I just happen to glance in a certain direction, and I see the way someone is nervously nibbling on their finger.  Sometimes I look up to see someone looking longingly at someone else and that "someone else" has no clue.  Sometimes I scan the room and pay attention to what I pick up - who's wearing what, who's eating what, and who's emitting a particular vibe.  It's amazing what you can see when you start paying attention.

The other day I was talking to someone and I could see his skin change color as the flush of nervousness crept up his neck, to his cheeks, and then to his forehead.  A week or so ago, I noticed how I could tell where someone was in the room even though my eyes weren't on them any longer. And a few years ago, I noticed how my husband's cousin was sick even before he was diagnosed with the cancer that would end his life 13 months later.

I just notice things because I think paying attention means you care.

Shouldn't we make it a point to notice each other's absences?  And to notice the lack of spirit in someone's eyes?  Shouldn't we make a concerted effort to notice when someone gets a haircut or is wearing a new shirt or when they have changed something about themselves for the better?

Most of us don't notice things because paying attention takes effort.  And the hard work of being kind, generous, and compassionate is challenging when a lot of people take the easy route.  It's like when you're on the highway and the flashing traffic sign says. "Left lane closed ahead" and all the cars just keep on going until the last possible second.  Then you get cut off and the traffic gets worse. It's easier to just worry about you and yours.

I don't think that's right.

So I will build a sandcastle of love, hope, and kindness every day.  And every day I will watch the tide dissolve my efforts.  Then (if I'm lucky) I will collect more sand and build again and again and again.

I notice things, and today I noticed some diamonds in the ruff.

SAS

Happy Friday everyone.  I might post a SAS Roundup after I look at my notes; I might not.  But thank you to all the presenters today.  I was very impressed with the connections you made and with the courage you had to present.

I can't end without posting a HUGE shout out to MN in period 4.  You single-handedly changed the vibe of the class, and I have mad, mad, mad respect for you.  Thank you for making me laugh, dancing with me, and for being a ray of sunshine.  You were my lollipop moment today so I thought I should say so publicly.

Have a safe and happy weekend, and I will see you on Monday.

xoxo

Daily Journal #137 - Explosions

I'm at a loss for words today which is pretty funny considering I publicly speak for a living.  I'm just not quite sure how to express what I am feeling without revealing too much information and though I know most of you don't read my blog, I am still hyper aware that eyes other than my own will absorb these words.  All I can say is that I heard some disquieting news this afternoon - words told to me in confidence.  At first I just heard the words, but then I felt them.  Luckily the bell rang and I had to get to work.  All the while I taught periods 6 and 7, I was slow dancing with the near enemy of equanimity, and he is a dashing partner.

I find it so strange that I played Mumford and Sons today.  I mean, really?  Out of all the songs I could have selected to fit with the theme of awareness.  I find it so strange that I focused on certain lyrics.  I find it so strange that all sorts of weird coincidences lead me to this laptop at the time on this day.

I think the Universe has my back.  Truly.  It seems she sends me exactly what I need exactly when I need it, and I have become better at paying attention to her gifts.  The gifts she sent me today are likely meant to save me, and for that, I am forever in her debt.

The Universe also has a sense of humor.  About a second after the disquieting news, as the words traveled from my head to my heart, the Ziploc bag in M's hands popped.  I jokingly said to her," Did you hear that?  That was my heart breaking."

But I will "use my head alongside my heart" as I attempt to swim in these now murky waters.  I will be "bold as well as strong".  And I will most definitely walk around the dog poop.

SAS

Please be ready tomorrow for SAS. The new parameters are listed below:

1.  5 minute maximum.
2.  Take notes during other people's presentations.  And be mindful of who has and has not presented.
3.  Connect the SAS to the theme/texts/learnings of the week.
4.  Have some sort of visual that we can look at instead of you (or me!).

xoxo

Daily Journal #136 - My Desk

Oftentimes I will sit at my school desk and I'll find a gift of some sort awaiting me.  Today, upon my arrival at school, I found a handwritten letter from a former student of mine.  He is a senior this year and is headed to college in the fall.

I put my lunch away, queued up some Justin Timberlake and opened this beautiful gift.  It made me cry, not only because who wrote it (I respect him greatly) but also because he handwrote his words in cursive on legitimate old school stationery.

In a couple of pages he lifted my spirit and reminded me that the haters (for lack of a better word) don't matter at all compared to the sunshine that warms my heart and soul.

When I got to the second page of the letter, a passage stood out.  I had to read it twice to believe it. It read, "If nothing else, I respect you.  And I don't mean that I simply respect you as a fellow human being; I revere you as an outstanding example of fairness, generosity, kindness, honesty and passion - an example that everyone should find and follow.  The world should be populated by a ubiquitous collection of you's."

I almost gave up on you because of the fools with the megaphones - the ones in the back of the room all slouched over "too cool for school".  I almost gave up on you because I forgot I was in water and that some of the fishes (masquerading in teenage meat suits) are just food for the sharks.  I almost gave up because I almost forgot who I am.

I am a strong, intelligent, Mexican woman.

I am a first generation college student.

I am a fatherless daughter, sister, wife, mother, and friend.

I am an educator and a lifelong learner.

I am a lover of books, coffee, fuzzy socks, and well-written dialogue.

I am a dancer, an artist, a violinist, a writer, a yogi, a chef.

I am a dark chocolate lover, a quick shower-taker, a sugar snap pea thief, and an unsweetened iced tea fan.

I am a two-stepping, Ford pickup driving, native Texan who will always choose the light over darkness.

Anybody who doesn't "get" this????  I'm thinkin'...it's your loss, not mine.

Onward LIONS.

Sympathetic Joy - Part 2

I don't even know how to articulate all that went down today.  I was working my butt off and I know some of you were, too.  Thanks for that.  If you were absent, text/email a friend for notes.

The 5 questions I expect emailed to me are below.  And as an FYI, I will accept any emails for "credit" (how lame) until 8am the day after they are due.  I am fully aware (this is water!!!!!) that life happens so as long as you respond by the start of my day I am cool.  And if your wifi is spotty or technology is an issue, you can always just WRITE your answers and slip them under my door before 1st period.  (Don't interrupt the colleague next door, please.)

Questions:
1.  Why does it pain you so much when someone else gets good news?
2.  What do you think you're entitled to?
3.  What is a prestigious college?
4.  What assumptions do you have about the colleges that you would NOT describe as prestigious?
5.  What sorts of people go to prestigious colleges and not prestigious colleges?

Remember, the email is yrbeltran@gmail.com

xoxo

The Four Elements

Do what a student does tonight...

Here's the Power of Words video and here's the Love Liberates video.

Be sure to read and take notes (sweatpants version) on Strayed's We Are All Savages Inside.

I'll see y'all tomorrow.

And for you, Sweet Pea...

At the Dentist...

...I'll post after I return from this adventure. #meditation #justbreathe

Day One is in the Books

Thanks for being in class today.  I hope what I am trying to do will be clear as the week goes on.  Please be the best version of yourself.

Tomorrow, no TED Talk, just a lesson on sympathetic joy.

Tonight, make sure to email me (yrbeltran@gmail.com) and make sure to redo your notes from class.  I'll take a peek at them tomorrow.

xoxo

"We are all savages inside.  We all want to be chosen, the beloved, the esteemed.  There isn't a person reading this who hasn't at one point or another had that why not me? voice pop into the interior mix when something good has happened to someone else.  But that doesn't mean you should allow it to rule your life.  It means you have work to do."

~ Cheryl Strayed