Daily Journal #129 - All Over the Place *JUST UPDATED

*I just reread my own post...and I think I may have found my future tattoo in that lion.  Funny how things happen for a reason...Good luck with tomorrow's finals.  xoxo

Be warned:  This is all over the place.  Proceed with caution...

I just spent some time catching up on journals, and I read one and it cracked me open.  I don't know if the kids in class could hear the hurt as it coursed through my body, or see the tears well up in my eyes.

I read something that as a teacher shocked me.

I read something that as a mother slayed me.

I read something that as a woman killed me.

I know that this blog is a "safe enough" space to write, but it is way different than you writing a Daily Journal that only I (or a select few) have access to.  If I allow myself to pause for a moment, I need to acknowledge that at a bare minimum, at least a hundred people will read these words...and maybe more than that because some of my former students still read, too.  So honor the fact that by posting here on the daily means I am exposing myself to more than a few curious eyes.

With that being said, let's discuss empowerment and confidence.  How I wish I had more of both when I was younger.  Being 16 and 17 is difficult and don't let any jaded, crusty, unaware adult tell you otherwise.  How are you supposed to navigate your ship of self-confidence through waters raging with jealousy, immaturity, hormones?!  How are you supposed to know how to say no when you're asked (hat in hand) to do something you know you shouldn't do?  How are you supposed to have friends and not be a Social Casualty?

I can't attack all those questions just now as I eat my blueberries and mend my aching heart, but I will say this:  you must say what you mean and mean what you say.

And that is a challenge.

Will you go to the dance with me?
Do you want to try this?
Have you ever...?

If I could teach a course on this campus called "What You Need to Know", my first lesson would be on the power of no.  How do you say no?

I can see how much effort you went through to put this together, and I appreciate that.  But I'm not interested in going to the dance with you.  I hope you understand.  I don't intend to hurt your feelings, but I realize I likely did.  Thank you for thinking of me.  

But even that?  Geez...then the defeated soul will post online about what a female dog you are or make up some lies about what you have or have not done.

How will I help solve this problem?  How can I possibly help?

More to think on...So much more.

P.S. - I'm back.  I just checked my Facebook.  I took screenshots of something that I think y'all need to read.