A dear family friend was just over for a spell and he brought his dog Bandit with him. Bandit watched me as I cooked some dinner and his hot breath was on my leg as we sat at the table. Having an animal near me dragged my mind and heart to an empty space.
I love animals, dogs and cats in particular, but our home hasn't housed a pet since our darling cat Tela passed away last August. She was 18 years old and was our "fur baby" in all ways.
Tela belonged to my beloved and when I would hang out at the Milford house, Tela was around. She was there at the beginning of our relationship, watching me with her gold green eyes, as I fell in love while watching the cute boy making commercial worthy grilled cheese sandwiches with my brown eyes.
Tela was there when the aforementioned cute boy drove off on his adventure to the West Coast and we had to struggle through the dreaded "long distance" relationship.
She was there, curled up on the bed, when my favorite Sam Cooke song played on repeat and my beloved proposed.
Tela was there on the first night in our newly purchased home when the two of us were up all night because it was so damn quiet in the suburbs compared to the corner of 24th and E.
She was in the bathroom with me when the stick said "pregnant" and tears of joy filled my eyes.
Tela was there, cuddled against my burgeoning belly as my first child grew.
She was there when Z came home from the NICU and when A did too.
Tela was just always there.
Until she wasn't.
I don't want to talk about the details of how we lost her, but we did. I remember telling her I loved her. I remember she meowed.
Then she was gone.
And as soon as her last breath left her body, I changed a little. Because that's what loss does to us. It cracks us and fells us. And though we can recover, we are never the same.
I hadn't thought about Tela for a while but with Bandit's spirit literally in the house, my sweet girl was brought to the forefront.
I miss her still, and I think I always will.
Having to say goodbye to a pet is so hard to do. My mom and I didn't realize how much our dog was around until- one day- she just wasn't. We are glad to have the special memories we do. Best wished Ms. B
ReplyDeleteShe sounds like she was a wonderful kitty. I trust that she was very happy to have had such a loving family. Blessings
ReplyDeleteMy cats are literally my life. Losing an animal is always the worst.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing this, I completely understand the pain in losing an pet that was close to you, they are just as much of a family member as anyone!
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