Daily Journal #124 - Touch

The other day I walked Z into school and on the way out, I ran into Em.  She was Z's yoga instructor last year and is a 5th grade teacher now.  I consider her a bright light and I enjoy being in her presence.  We smiled at each other, said hello, and as we walked past each other, she placed her left hand on my left shoulder.  In a nanosecond, a sense of utter peace zipped from her palm into my upper arm.  I was instantly soothed and grounded.  I couldn't help but smile all the way to my car. 

About a year ago I was on my yoga mat in savasana.  My eyes were closed and all parts of my body were in repose when Sarah placed her hands on the back of my neck and adjusted my muscles.  I could sense her presence hovering over me and I wondered what more she was about to do.  I then felt her run her thumbs up my neck and across my forehead.  Then her right index finger tapped the space right below my suprasternal notch.  Tears instantly welled up in my closed eyes and dripped down to the floor as all sorts of pent up emotions released themselves.  I hugged her after class, told her thank you, and she kissed me on my cheek.

16 years ago I got off a place in San Diego and walked toward my long-distance boyfriend.  It was the first time seeing him since he had moved months before.  As I headed toward him I wondered if this relationship was going to make it.  Was this a new beginning or a final weekend to mark the end?   After an embrace, my right hand found his left.  The instant our fingers curled into their familiar positions, I knew that no distance would ever separate our connection.  

And 30 years ago I would rest my head in my beloved grandmother's lap and she would absentmindedly run her fingers through my hair.  She'd twist and stroke my dark strands and tell me stories in her lilting voice.  Her hands possessed the ability to scare away all my worries and in those moments before bedtime, she gave me the kind of love that every child deserves.  

Touch, at least in my life, has been the steward of healing, growth and love.  It has started relationships, created friendships, and connected me for life to people, places, and things.  I believe in the healing power of touch.

But as I sit here tonight and process all sorts of things, I recognize a tiny layer of fear in my heart for the lack of touch in our society.  Don't get me wrong, people are very connected - I could post a picture right now and get instant attention - but we are not connected as we should be.  We hide behind our profiles and our private Instagrams and our choice in clothing, cars, style.  We just hide so we're untouchable - so we won't get hurt.  

I think this sucks.

I think it's a beautiful thing when your arms fully wrap around another being's body and you consciously embrace.

I think it's a beautiful thing when a hand is held by another.  

I think it's a beautiful thing when space is shared.  

And I think it's ugly when touch is anything but that.