Daily Journal #96 - Christmas

I happen to celebrate Christmas and as such, today is a special day but not for the reasons you might imagine.  It's not about the gifts or the tree or the parties.  It's about the community, it's about family, it's about a good reason to slow down and take a breath.

My sister and I used to spend our Christmases in Waco, Texas - first at one grandmother's house and then at the other's.  I recall loading the Ford F-150 for one trip South with wrapped presents for each cousin, uncle, aunt, grandparent, etc.  (My father had 6 brothers and sisters so you can do the math.)  There were a lot of presents.

Giddy with excitement we arrived on S. 27th and unloaded.  Gifts were everywhere.  After dinner, where the women always ate last and served, we retreated to the living room and exchanged gifts.  My sister and I handed out presents with smiles on our faces and watched as others oohed and ahhed over the treats.  But we never got a gift in return.  That Christmas when we were 8 and 10, no one thought to buy us anything.  And that tingly feeling of shame and sadness is something I can still feel even while typing this and remembering.

When the night ended, my mom talked to the two of us and tried her best to teach a lesson on what the holiday was really about but neither my sister or I got "it".  We were just hurt and sad.

Then we went to our other grandmother's house and were showered with love and food and music and joy.  And then it hit me.  I felt loved and seen at Momo's house and that became Christmas to me.

It became about listening and laughing.
It became about loving and learning.
It became about togetherness and tamales.

My family doesn't arrive until this afternoon so we four are watching "Santa Buddies" and eating breakfast.  The girls have each opened one gift and are over the moon.  There are more to come but I am hopeful that they are equating this season with a family who honors and accepts who they are, a family who sees them and loves them in their imperfect perfectness.

If you're reading and you celebrate this holiday, sending you love and light.