Daily Journal #91 - Feminism

I stood before each of you on the first day of school and introduced myself and while you listened to my words, you consumed my message with your eyes as well.  By that, I mean, you saw a woman of color standing before you.  Whatever other labels you assigned me (funny, dumb, ugly, smart, cool, fat, etc.) belong to you and not me, but don't you wonder about what else you assigned me because of my gender and my race?

The reason I am bringing up the "f" word is because as a self-proclaimed, proud-to-be feminist, I think there is a lot of confusion about feminism in general and what feminism means to me.

We all live in a world that loves labels, right?

My two most prominent labels are visible ones - that I am a woman and that I am a woman of color, as in brown.  My skin is brown.

I can't erase these two labels no matter how hard I try because the second you saw me on the first day of school, you saw my physical form.  It goes without saying that I am more than my physical form (as are you) but this body is what transports my inner being around.

The reason I am a feminist is because I think the physical form shouldn't be the director of my life's movie nor the writer of my screenplay.  I am more than my gender.  I am more than my race.  And I am certainly more than my body.

To me, feminism means choice.  It means being able to choose if you want to work outside the home or not, if you want to change your name or not, if you want to race cars for a living or knit sweaters.  More importantly, it means, that any physical form should be able to choose what is in their life's best interest.

Those choices I listed above sound very "female" oriented, don't they?  And that's why equality and opportunity for all is important.  As we all know, just because you have an opportunity doesn't mean you take it, but people should have access to choice without judgment.  (Assuming, of course, that the choice does no harm to other beings/sentient creatures/society.)

Before you play the men and women are different card, well, duh.  I labored naturally to give birth to my first daughter for 39 hours.  My beloved did not labor in the same way.  I can't catch a ball to save my life but my beloved is one of the most graceful athletes I have ever seen.  Those facts hold inherent difference, yes, but NOT inequality.  Because I found a beloved who is equal in spirit, intellect, compassion and kindness.  None of that has anything to do with his gender.

Feminism is not "man-hating" or blindness to facts.  It is a fact that my beloved is taller than me.  That should not exempt him from making dinner for our children.  It is a fact that I have less upper body strength than my beloved.  That should not exempt me from taking out the garbage.

The truth of the matter is that I like it when my husband opens the door for me or when he takes out the garbage or when he makes dinner for the family.  But it's all a choice that doesn't diminish my spirit.

I aspire to live in a world where my daughter's preschool teachers don't refer to "boy colors" and "girl colors", where the best player gets put on the team, where I can choose an outfit for work without double checking how "distracting" it is, where the content of one's character matters more than their meat suit.

So, yeah, I'm a feminist.  I believe I am more than my gender and race.  I believe I am because you are.