Daily Journal #146 - Parenthood

I never dreamed of being married or becoming a mom.  I vividly recall my imaginative play being centered around being a deejay, a rancher, and an accountant (why did I find that alluring, I'll never know...).  At any rate, finding a man and motherhood were not even on the radar.  Then, of course, life happens and you fall in love and then you get all hormonal.

Motherhood is the opposite of glamorous - in fact, if you do it well, your kids just appear as if they were born good people with morals, ethics, and values.  Certainly you had nothing to do with it.  (wink wink)  Being a mom for me is the toughest challenge because I am inherently an introvert and I am a thinker and I feel way too much to have my heart beating outside of my chest.  I'm a pessimist naturally and I pretty much believe we are all savages who daily resist the urge to lose our minds.  I also believe that some people's children are not cute and not cool but how do I teach my kids to love if I say that stuff out loud?

Today motherhood made me literally laugh out loud.  Today motherhood humbled me and put me in my place.  Let's set the scene...

In an hour I am piling my kids into the car and making a trek up north to a four year old's birthday party.  It's what you do on a sunny Saturday in San Diego.  And since I am as much of a procrastinator as some of my students, I didn't stop by the store to buy a present two weeks ago when we RSVPed to the event.  So...off we go this morning to Target (a mother's Mecca) to buy something dear Adeline would like.  (Mind you, I don't know which one Adeline is but that's beside the point.)  Since my girlies love croissants and I love coffee (we're a match made in heaven), we stop to acquire some yummies before venturing to the store where I will no doubt spend $100 on things I don't even know I need until I see them (sucker, I know).

We've secured the buttery bread and the hot latte and we're in the car when I ask some question of the kids.  August attempts to answer but she's got food in her mouth and I get irritated.  I mean, how many times do I have to remind her?

"August Shaina Rose!  Do not speak with your mouth open!"    

Silence.

My brain catches up to my mouth at about the same time Zadie's brain processes what I just said.  

"Mommy!  Did you hear what you just said?  You told her she can't talk with her mouth open.  How else is she supposed to talk?".

Her giggles erupt from deep within.

The only choice I have in that moment is to lose it...not in anger but in absolute joy.  I am such a dork.  I can't even yell at my kid correctly.

The three of us go from separateness to togetherness in an instant.  I glanced in the rearview mirror to see my two daughters literally shaking their heads at their nutty mama and I realize we just created a memory that they will discuss years from now when I am even more embarrassing.  We just created a moment for them to share as sisters, a shared history they'll discuss over their own coffee and croissants someday when I am no longer driving them around - when I am no longer the epicenter of their worlds.