Daily Journal #137 - Explosions

I'm at a loss for words today which is pretty funny considering I publicly speak for a living.  I'm just not quite sure how to express what I am feeling without revealing too much information and though I know most of you don't read my blog, I am still hyper aware that eyes other than my own will absorb these words.  All I can say is that I heard some disquieting news this afternoon - words told to me in confidence.  At first I just heard the words, but then I felt them.  Luckily the bell rang and I had to get to work.  All the while I taught periods 6 and 7, I was slow dancing with the near enemy of equanimity, and he is a dashing partner.

I find it so strange that I played Mumford and Sons today.  I mean, really?  Out of all the songs I could have selected to fit with the theme of awareness.  I find it so strange that I focused on certain lyrics.  I find it so strange that all sorts of weird coincidences lead me to this laptop at the time on this day.

I think the Universe has my back.  Truly.  It seems she sends me exactly what I need exactly when I need it, and I have become better at paying attention to her gifts.  The gifts she sent me today are likely meant to save me, and for that, I am forever in her debt.

The Universe also has a sense of humor.  About a second after the disquieting news, as the words traveled from my head to my heart, the Ziploc bag in M's hands popped.  I jokingly said to her," Did you hear that?  That was my heart breaking."

But I will "use my head alongside my heart" as I attempt to swim in these now murky waters.  I will be "bold as well as strong".  And I will most definitely walk around the dog poop.