Daily Journal #138

I am an observer and as such, I notice a lot of different things throughout my day.  Sometimes I just happen to glance in a certain direction, and I see the way someone is nervously nibbling on their finger.  Sometimes I look up to see someone looking longingly at someone else and that "someone else" has no clue.  Sometimes I scan the room and pay attention to what I pick up - who's wearing what, who's eating what, and who's emitting a particular vibe.  It's amazing what you can see when you start paying attention.

The other day I was talking to someone and I could see his skin change color as the flush of nervousness crept up his neck, to his cheeks, and then to his forehead.  A week or so ago, I noticed how I could tell where someone was in the room even though my eyes weren't on them any longer. And a few years ago, I noticed how my husband's cousin was sick even before he was diagnosed with the cancer that would end his life 13 months later.

I just notice things because I think paying attention means you care.

Shouldn't we make it a point to notice each other's absences?  And to notice the lack of spirit in someone's eyes?  Shouldn't we make a concerted effort to notice when someone gets a haircut or is wearing a new shirt or when they have changed something about themselves for the better?

Most of us don't notice things because paying attention takes effort.  And the hard work of being kind, generous, and compassionate is challenging when a lot of people take the easy route.  It's like when you're on the highway and the flashing traffic sign says. "Left lane closed ahead" and all the cars just keep on going until the last possible second.  Then you get cut off and the traffic gets worse. It's easier to just worry about you and yours.

I don't think that's right.

So I will build a sandcastle of love, hope, and kindness every day.  And every day I will watch the tide dissolve my efforts.  Then (if I'm lucky) I will collect more sand and build again and again and again.

I notice things, and today I noticed some diamonds in the ruff.