Happy Anniversary

Today the hubby and I are celebrating 12 years of marriage so I am in a more reflective than usual mood - thinking of how love makes the world go 'round...or at least it should.  We stopped by Mariposas over on Adams Avenue for a sweet treat and all the stickers and signage on the walls of the store were about peace and love and kindness.  Pretty much my perfect place.

As this summer rolls along - long days and long nights - I am still wishing each of you love and light.  I hope you are relaxing and getting to spend some time doing things you want to do.  It's when we are happy and content that we are at our best and able to offer the most to those around us.

Yesterday at the OB Market, the hubby and I ran in to at least 15 different people we knew - former students and such.  The girls were so over it and one eventually asked, "Why do people keep stopping you?"  I tried to explain it's just a perk of being a teacher...and it is.  That each of you one day will be another beautiful human we get to call "friend" is pretty spectacular.

At any rate, I'm rambling.

Just wanted to check in and say hi for any of you still reading.

Happy Thursday.

Love and Light,
Beltran

The Promised Post

(Disclaimer: I may or may not have just served homemade milkshakes for dinner.  I am clearly NOT in my right mind.  Summer vibes and all...)

This morning I had the honor of meeting a friend for breakfast in PL.  We caught up, swapped stories, and laughed.  Of course, we laughed.  At the end of our meeting she gifted me with a beautiful tote bag that has my favorite Cheryl Strayed quote emblazoned on it.

Be brave enough to break your own heart.

I promised her that I would write a post and I jokingly said it would be full of lies, but after rereading Tiny Beautiful Things this afternoon, I feel compelled to write only truth.

This meet up was the second joyful food sharing experience I've had since summer began.  At the first, I was told of qualities I have as a mother that are to be admired, perhaps even envied.  I was told I am understanding, loving, forgiving...and while those words bounced off my ears at the time, they resonate deeply with me now.

I know I just gave my girls milkshakes for dinner, but what I serve their bellies can barely compare to what their dad and I try to serve their hearts: the knowledge that they matter, that they are seen, that they are loved no matter what.

When my lunch buddy asked me what I want for my girls, I told the truth: I want them to know their own power - in all ways.  Spiritual, mental and physical power.  I want them to be kind.  I don't care if they conform to societal standards but I do care if they are the kind of human beings who make other peoples' lives better because they have existed.

I kissed Aug Pie's forehead on Sunday and remembered all that had been said about my motherhood the day before.  It means a lot to me to be seen as a good mother mostly because I had a good mother who showered me daily with unconditional love and acceptance.  We didn't have much in the way of stuff, but she gave me the priceless gift of confidence.

When she died, I lost a lot, but I won't ever lose knowing what I meant to her, how much she loved me, how proud she was of the daughter she raised.

When I was told that my kids are lucky to have a mom like [me], something in me shifted.  I see what he meant.  Every towel I fold, every meal I prep, every soccer trip or dance class I attend is a conscious act of love.  I love being their mother.

And my love will liberate them.

Love and Light,
Beltran

Happy Monday With No School

I miss you of course but waking up to no alarm, making smoothies in no rush and getting to hang with my kids is pretty ideal.  I had lunch the other day with a friend and they asked me why I do what I do - as in teach.  Honestly?  Because it's my dharma and also because I get to spend so much time with my family and my best friend husband.  You can't shake a stick at that.  Do what you love and still have so much free time?

The big kid is at baseball camp (the only girl by the way) and Aug Pie and I are headed out to do some grocery shopping which means the magical minivan is about to be rocking to some Bruno Mars or Prince or Lenny BE STILL MY BEATING HEART Kravitz.  Call me crazy but that makes my heart so happy.

Wishing you all a beautiful Monday morning with lots of love and light.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo,
Beltran

The Final Post

Dear Class of 2018,

The first post I wrote to you came on August 29, 2016.  It said, "Welcome to AP Language, lovelies.  It shall be an amazing year.  Trust me."

And I think it was.

Before I sign off for the last time with my signature "love and light", I want to say a couple of things.

Your TED Talks (as in all of you who presented these past several days)...THANK YOU.  No class has ever come close to the bar you set, and I will forever be mindful of the courage and vulnerability it took for each of you to "enter the arena". We created a safe space and it showed.

I am grateful for that.

As I sit here reflecting, though, I can't help but think of how badly I want to text my mom and send her pictures of gifts or cards...how badly I want to call her and tell her I did it - year 19 is in the books.  I think of how proud she would be of me because we have come a helluva long way from where we started...she taught me how to be a strong woman.  Without her, I wouldn't be me and then your experience this past year would not have happened.

I know that.  And I also know that she would have chuckled at some of the shade that was thrown my way.  She would have given me a hug after telling her of the adults decades older than me and the kids who weren't even alive when I stepped into my first classroom who made it a point this year to throw shade.  She would have brushed my hair off my shoulder and said, "Well, you can't turn off the sun." Ain't that the truth? Especially when it shines within and when it starts to shine around you too.  I saw some of you just freakin' light up this year - a thousand splendid suns in Room 853 who grew toward the light and didn't stay content with what you were "used to".  A thousand splendid suns who weren't afraid of a woman with a voice and a brain and a whole heart that's tattered and scarred from life.

Thank you to those of you (likely the readers of this blog) who OPENED YOUR HANDS.
Thank you to those of you who DARED GREATLY.
Thank you to those of you who FORGAVE MY HUMANITY and LOVED ME ANYWAY.

I have cried every day since my mother's death last May.

Today is the first day my tears were not from grief.

That is all because of you.

Love and Light,
Beltran

P.S. - Read and write and feed your brains...Go make the world a better place with your radical acts of kindness and empathy.

To The All-Stars

Dear 2nd Period,

Today marked the end of our time together, and I wanted to take a moment to say thank you.  I can honestly say that I looked forward to seeing your class each morning and that it was the perfect way for me to start my teaching day.  Each of you taught me something (be it new dance moves or new ways to look at the same ol' thing) and that is rare - having a class full of meatsuits that just bring IT.

I consider it a privilege to teach period, but to teach people like you makes me feel all kinds of grateful.

You were my most competitive class (in the best way) and you consistently set the bar for everything from SAS to Create Something.  And your TED Talks were brave, open, and on point.

I know nothing gold can stay, but I will hold onto the moments we shared and all of the laughs.  So much laughter.

May the road rise to meet each of you as you journey forward.

Love and Light,
Beltran

Goodbye to Periods 5 & 6

The last bit of truth tea that I have is that when leaving a space for the very last time (at least in the sense that you can come back but not in the same way) make sure you say goodbye.  Thank you to those of you in 5th period who did that.  Kudos to the amazing presenters today - the courage it took, the vulnerability.  Wow.  I wish you all the best as you move forward.

And to period 6...just love on top.  Always.  Thank you for the gift of teaching you all year and for the video.  No words.

Room 853 will always be a space for those of you who want to stop by.

Don't forget to read.

Love and Light.

See y'all tomorrow, period 2.  xoxo

Today

I'm overwhelmed by today.

Thank you for reminding me over and over why I'm so lucky.

I'll see periods 5 & 6 on Monday.

Xoxo,
Beltran

You're An All-Star

The morning started off on the greatest note possible...I can't say I've ever heard a song about fruit and denim sung acapella...Anyhoo, THANK YOU for another epic day of...what are you calling it?  TEDxBeltran?  Cute.

I am so proud of you but more importantly, you should be proud of yourselves.

Off to double check name pronunciation for the Senior Awards.  Big Gym at 6:30 for any interested.  They're given me and Posternack the microphones...

Love and Light,
Beltran

Almost Done

A few words come to mind after today's TED Talks: slay, courage, love.

Another day of love.

I choose love.

Beltran

YES!!!

Today you brought it. And it was glorious. Thank you!!!

I'll see y'all for more tomorrow...

Beltran

The Summer of 2013

I first stepped on a yoga mat in August of 2012, a mere 7 months after the birth of my little Aug Pie.  I was asked to participate in a yoga session in the backyard of a sorta colleague (Cynthia student taught at PLHS) so she could practice her yoga teaching skills seeing as how she was recently certified.

I liked the idea of getting out of baby mode, so I agreed.

In that backyard on that glorious day, as I awkwardly figured out what asana meant and what sit bones were (your butt apparently), I awkwardly began walking a path that I once thought frivolous.  I mean practicing yoga is couched in privilege.  My beloved mother never had the chance to roll out a mat and focus on her breathing; she was too busy working the night shift to feed her kids.  Getting to go to a yoga class costs money.  Period.  And getting to practice (on the mat, at least) costs time.  But with all that aside, yoga did change my life and is far more than warrior pose and namaste.

The second yoga class I ever attended was with a brute of a teacher who literally put me in a headstand and subsequently knocked me over.  After class I sweetly asked if there was someone else perhaps a little less...focused??  That led me to a beautiful soul named Sarah and to an immersion program in the summer of 2013.

That summer I cracked wide open.  And while all the details aren't meant for your lovely eyes, one thing I will share is that Sarah taught me what a good teacher does.  At the end of our time together, she gathered us all around and gave each attendee mala beads and a yoga pose to practice.

I received tadasana.  That's mountain pose...a standing pose.

Sarah explained why.

"Yolanda - Tadasana, so that she might experience that her firm connection to the ground, and thus to all things, is indeed her base for ascending, for living the loving kindness she so naturally exudes."

In that moment, I felt seen.

I felt I mattered.

I understood the role of a teacher.

I hope I have done that for some of you.  (Ultimately, my goal is to be the kind of teacher Sarah is...)

Thank you to all the first day presenters.  It takes a lot to speak in front of your peers and I saw each of you today.  And each of you matters in Room 853, our Indra's Net.

See y'all tomorrow.

Love and Light,
Beltran

I'm Back

I'm back with the need to write and at this point in the game, why censor myself?  You have been in my orbit since the end of August and some of you have seen me...really seen me so you already know that I am a writer (daily journaler since 1984, thank you very much) and you know that I admire people who are intelligent and brave and compassionate.  Thus, it shouldn't come as a surprise that with the "alone time" I have today (kiddos are on a playdate with the hubs) I am rereading Kirker's blog about his Whole30 experience.

It's hilarious.

In period 4 when he was presenting, he made reference to my insanity for pretty much being on a Whole3Years diet...and it made me remember that I am usually all or nothing.  I decided to give up Dr Pepper on a dare with my mom back in October...of 2004 that is, and I went from a two can a day habit to nada.  I decided to revamp my diet back in December...of 2014 that is, and I went from eating out all the time to pretty much cooking every single meal.  I'm just a bit intense and maybe that why I connected with Kirk way back when he owned the yoga studio I frequented.  Like minds and all...

But the real reason I sat down to write is because I came across a quote on Kirk's blog that made me laugh out loud, and it motivated me to remind you that writing daily is such a good and healthy practice.  It gives you a chance to reset and reflect and be real...and who couldn't use more of that?

Anyhoo, I'm off to read more, but before I go, here's what he said:

"They are serving breakfast empanadas with cheese and other fine ingredients enjoyed by those with no desire to improve their lives."

He's great.

Stuff You Need to Know

Happy Saturday Morning, y'all...I have a cup of coffee in hand (post lemon water, of course) and we are headed to our final game of the futsal season in a bit.  (Fingers crossed we can take a detour to Dark Horse so I can get 1) more coffee, 2) vegan donuts for the girls and 3) daily hipster fix).

Before we go though, a few things...

First, mad respect to the lovelies who played their hearts out at Powder Puff yesterday.  You held off those seniors and their victory came because of a safety.  The cheerleaders performance was smart and not just scandalous though I must respect all those who dared show up in the arena - dancing in front of a crowd is tough.

Secondly, on Monday I will be collecting ISJ so have yours ready.  This, and your TED Talk, are pretty much it in terms of your grades.

Next, any of you interested can write yourself a letter and seal it in a self-addressed envelope (FIRST AND LAST NAME, CLASS PERIOD with me and THE DATE).  Give me the letter before the last day of school and I will make sure you get it back in JUNE 2018 - right before graduation!!!!!!

And finally, TED Talks start on Monday so you should know if you are slated to present.  Email me with questions.

Can't believe we're almost finished...what a long strange trip it's been...once in a while you get shown the light, in the strangest of places if you look at it right...nothing left to do but smile, smile, smile...because if you aren't careful, you'll end up planting ice...then you're gonna harvest wind.

xoxo,
Beltran

Happy Friday

What a glorious day...thanks to Kirk for visiting periods 2 and 3 and for the wisdom he shared.  And thanks to the other classes for ending the year on a nice, sweet note.  I know some of you are just beyond ready to be done with school, but keep in mind that everything is temporary.  All good things (and bad things too) pass.  Everything passes.

I hope you have a great weekend...get those ISJ updated.  I'll be collecting them Monday.

Onward to TED Talks!
Beltran

No...Yeah.

Q:  Maya, does your hand hurt?
A:  No, yeah...it's fine.

Q;  Teddy, can I borrow your Kanye album collection?
A:  No, yeah...it's cool.

Q:  Fernando, do you like the way that random squishy ball feels?
A:  No, yeah...I love the way it feels.

xoxo